Fragile Little Lives

It is one of our jobs as mothers to be the protector of our children. Today, I felt vulnerable. My friend, Bernadette, and I took our kids to get their pictures taken today at JC Penney. It was one of Brianna and Alyssa's best photo shoots. They were happy and cooperative. Bernadette had already paid for her pictures and was waiting for me. I was still trying to decide on mine, since they were all so cute. The girls were excited to go eat lunch and were a little hyper. I was looking at the computer and all of a sudden I hear them start to cry. I turn around and see that they have fallen off the bench and Brianna is laying on Olivia (Age 4), Bernadette's daughter. I pick up Brianna and start to comfort her and Bernadette does the same. All of a sudden Bernadette starts yelling and Olivia is no longer crying and starting to convulse. Her lips start to turn blue and our nurse hats go on. Bernadette lays Olivia on the ground, yells at the worker to call 911, and starts giving rescue breaths. She gave 1 or 2 and then Olivia gasps and starts crying. They start hugging and crying together. Olivia complains of her head hurting but is oriented and a little shaken up. I think we all were. I then look over at my girls and see Brianna with tears in her eyes. How do you explain this to a 4 year old? We warn Olivia that an ambulance is coming and some people will be checking her out. By this time, she is walking around and doing fine. The ambulance took an incredibly long time to get there. Around 10-15 minutes. The EMT saw her and asked if we wanted to take her to the hospital. At that point, we weren't really sure because she looked ok. So we thought maybe we could just drive her. The EMT quickly cancelled the call and started to leave. Didn't even ask what happened. Bernadette and I looked at each other and thought, aren't they even going to take her vital signs? The security guard chased them down and asked them to come back. The rude EMT said, if you want us to look at her you'll have to sign a release and do some paperwork. OK, no problem. We decided to have Olivia go to the hospital in the ambulance just to have her checked out. She was so brave and jumped right in. We waved goodbye to them and went back to pay for our pictures. I looked at Brianna and saw more tears in her eyes. Lunch at McDonald's wasn't nearly as fun without our friends. I think it hit me then. I felt stress, fear and guilt. They are so fragile yet so strong at the same time. When we were driving home from the mall, Alyssa kept asking, "Where's Olivia? Is she at the hospital?" Brianna kept telling her not to talk about it. When we got home, Brianna broke down. She didn't want me to come in her room. When I went in anyway, she starting crying and kicking me. I knew this hit her hard. I just held her in my arms and let her cry. We laid in her bed and I tried my best to explain that it was OK to be scared. I reassured her that Olivia is just fine. We read a story and she fell fast asleep. Being a mother is not an easy job but it is the most rewarding job in the world.